Mated Bear: An Opposites Attract Shifter Romance (Full Moon Protectors Book 6) Read online

  Mated Bear

  Full Moon Protectors - Book 6

  Sammie Joyce

  Contents

  Mated Bear

  Sammie Joyce

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

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  Copyright © 2020 by Sammie Joyce

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  Mated Bear

  Full Moon Protectors - Book 6

  Sammie Joyce

  Prologue

  Cronin

  Three Years Ago

  My legs felt like lead weights as I walked, the steps heavier than I had ever felt them, like my body was encased in cement. The problem was not with my physical being but what was happening in my heart.

  It’s for the best. I knew it couldn’t last, not like this, I growled to myself. It’s my own fault for drawing this out as long as I did.

  I did not know why I was bothering with the pep talk—if that was what I could call it. After all, I had said the same thing to myself at least once a day for the past year, building up the courage to finally do what needed to be done. The only thing that had changed now was that I had finally ripped off the Band-Aid. It felt every bit as devastating as I had expected. No amount of rational thought was going to alleviate my upset as I walked away from Vanessa’s building for what was going to be the last time. The desire to turn back and apologize was overwhelming me but I could not and I knew it, difficult as it was.

  Apologize for what anyway? It just wasn’t working. It should have never been in the first place. No one is to blame for this.

  That thought came on with less conviction. I was to blame for not having ended things earlier—or for dating Vanessa in the first place. I had known better than to get involved with a human, especially at the time when I did. Things had been too volatile, too complicated. Yet Vanessa had been so… pushy? Determined? Something had drawn me to her and kept us together for over a year. Not that I was faultless. The appeal of being with someone as outgoing and vivacious as Van had certainly played a role in our relationship. She was everything I was not in so many ways. Or maybe I had just seen how Inigo and Addy had hit it off and reasoned that it could work for us too, delusional as that might have been. Whatever the reason for my justification, it had been as wrong then as it was now.

  Addy and Inigo’s relationship is nothing like mine and Van’s, I reminded myself. Van never knew the truth about me. She was more naïve than Addy in so many ways.

  I was unsure who I could blame for that. I should have told her about myself from the start. Addy knew about Inigo being a shifter and their relationship had survived just fine.

  Van isn’t Addy and I definitely am not Inigo.

  And that had nothing to do with the kind of shifters we were.

  A part of me questioned if I was just making excuses for not having told my girlfriend about my shifter abilities, if I had always known that Van was not “the one”. If that was true, it only served to make me feel worse about our breakup.

  I climbed into my waiting Dodge Durango and stuck the keys in the ignition but as I did, I could not stop myself from looking toward the apartment building. I half expected to see Van standing there, watching me with imploring eyes, but she had not followed me. I was grateful for that. I did not think I would have the resolve to drive away if she had.

  She’s known that something was wrong for a long time, I reasoned, sighing heavily as I put the truck in reverse. We’ve been drifting apart anyway. She was glad I was the one to end it.

  There were dozens of little justifications I could give myself, ones just like that one. We were not mates and we didn’t belong together but none of the sensibilities made the breakup any easier. A year together was still a long time and now, I was on my own—again.

  I drove with a certain reckless abandon through Eugene as though I was trying to put as much space between myself and Vanessa as fast as possible. I had never liked being in the city, just another one of the many differences between Vanessa and me. She thrived on being social, on going out and enjoying the nightlife. I had always preferred to remain in the confines of the modest bungalow that I called home, even if it was technically in the city too. Perhaps the outskirt neighborhood of Danebo had given me the false sense of security of believing that I did not really live in the middle of it all.

  Or maybe I had just fooled myself, living in my own little world for so long. I found myself wondering if that was what this was all about. Had Vanessa forced me out of the carefully crafted shell I had built for myself after so long that I had resented her for it from the beginning? It was becoming abundantly clear that I was good at deluding myself.

  I grunted loudly, my fists closing tightly around the steering wheel as I drove. There I went, overthinking everything again. It did not really matter why it had come to a head. It only mattered that it had.

  For her part, Van had not seemed too shocked by the outcome. If I was being honest, I had probably only beat her to the punch. She had been breaking dates and spending more time at the gym lately, where she worked as a fitness trainer. I suspected that she was having at least an emotional affair with one of her clients even though she had firmly denied it. I was sure I had not imagined the expression of relief on her face when I finally uttered the words, “It’s over.” The usual false platitudes followed my decision, almost without hesitation, like she had rehearsed them in her head a dozen times.

  “We can still be friends… I still love you… we can hang out…”

  But they were as empty as our relationship had been over the past months.

  The Bluetooth rang loudly in the truck, forcing my attention back into the present. I turned my eyes toward the screen before me.

  I had an incoming call from Inigo.

  For a long moment, I debated ignoring it. I was not ready to tell him that I had ended things with Addy’s best friend, at least not until I was thinking a bit clearer. Yet as I watched the phone ring, I realized that Van had probably already called and notified them. I always forgot how fast gossip could travel, even in a city the size of Eugene. There were no secrets among the shifters anyway, even if Vanessa had no idea I was one. It was all the more reason for me to keep to myself and block out the rest of the world.

  As if it could ever be that simple.

  He’s calling to check up on me, I thought, stifling a sigh. I should have felt grateful for that, knowing that I had someone who cared how I was faring, but his call only made me tenser. In any case, there was no sense in avoiding him. Inigo was not apt to leave me in peace until he heard my voice. It was both an endearing and annoying quality about the wolf that I had to appreciate, despite my dark mood. I answered on the fourth ring, before the voicemail could a
nswer the call.

  “Hey,” I said, my voice lower and more growly than usual. “What’s up?”

  “Hey,” Inigo said slowly. “Where are you?”

  Like you don’t know I’m just leaving Vanessa’s, I wanted to bark but I contained myself.

  “Just driving,” I replied flatly. “What’s up?”

  There was a slight pause and I could tell Inigo was trying his best to maintain a nonchalance before he answered.

  “Are you okay?”

  That answered my earlier question. Van had already called Addy. I had barely been gone ten minutes and the cat was already out of the bag. There would be no downtime for me in the coming minutes.

  “Sure,” I replied in my usual, stoic way, swallowing my irritation. I was not mad at Inigo, after all. I was not even sure I was mad at all. All I wanted was to be left alone and process the breakup. “I’m just driving.”

  I hoped he understood my impatience to get off the phone but if he did, he ignored it.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Inigo pressed, unwilling to be brushed off so easily. “Maybe go for a beer or something?”

  I entertained the thought briefly but I instantly dismissed it. Alcohol would only make things worse and I was already walking a fine line. That line was just another reason I had to end things with Vanessa. A chill ran through my body but I forced myself not to think about it.

  “No,” I responded dully. “Thanks.”

  “How about a run?” Inigo insisted. “I can meet you in Skinner Butte Park in less than an hour. I just have to—”

  “No, Inigo. I’d rather just go home.” I did not mean to sound as brusque as I did but there was no other way to get Inigo off the phone. There was a long silence and I knew my friend was trying to think of something comforting to say, but without understanding what had gone wrong between me and Vanessa, what could he offer? I decided to let him off the hook.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” I promised. “And maybe we’ll go for a run then.”

  It was the best I could give him under the circumstances.

  “Tomorrow there’s a Protector meeting,” Inigo reminded me. I cringed to myself. I had forgotten in light of everything else that was going on. Our monthly meetings always seemed to creep up on me.

  “Then we’ll definitely go for a run,” I replied lightly. Inigo inhaled sharply.

  “If you change your mind, I’ll be up for a while tonight,” he promised. “It doesn’t matter what time.”

  “Thanks,” I answered simply. “But I won’t.”

  I hoped he could hear the finality in my voice and would not be encouraged to call and check on me again.

  “All right…” he sighed hesitatingly.

  “Good night, Inigo. I’ll see you tomorrow at the meeting.”

  I did not allow him a chance to respond before disconnecting the call and refocusing my attention on the road ahead. I should have felt grateful for such an attentive friend. Inigo was a good man, a strong member of the team, and someone I was glad had my back. He had gone to bat for me at a time when others had believed the worst of me. I owed him a lot but in those moments, folded into myself, I was finding it difficult to appreciate him.

  We had too many differences for him to fully understand anything that was going on in my head. How could he when I was not sure I knew what was happening to myself most of the time? Inigo, on the other hand, was a wolf in a stable relationship. He had a good job and the respect of the shifter and human communities, regardless of what he did. Inigo had Dalton and Marcel, the other wolf Protectors. They watched over him and as much as they favored me over the cat shifters, we were not the same. The cats had each other too, the other Protectors defended and guarded by one or more backup. I was the only one on my own.

  I had nothing in common with him and it was high time I stopped pretending I did.

  Until that moment, I had ignored my loneliness or dismissed it as an overreaction but the breakup with Vanessa had taught me something—I would never fit in anywhere or with anyone. I never had before and I needed to accept that I would forever be an outsider.

  I pulled the vehicle into the carport off my driveway but I did not get out, even after I turned off the engine.

  It was all hitting me at once, like a giant slap in the face.

  Things could never have worked between Van and me because things could never work between me and anyone, in any circumstance.

  With a deep, quivering breath, I opened the car door and slipped my massive frame out from the driver’s side where I stood in the shadow of the carport like I was an umbra myself. That was what it felt like, after all. I was an outsider, looking in, a specter that did not really exist but to follow everyone else around me.

  I was completely on my own, something I had always known but refused to accept. Going forward, I would not make the same mistake. It was time to fully embrace my isolation. I would not allow anyone to ever get close to me again—for my good and theirs.

  Because even then, I knew things were only going to get worse for me and there was nothing I could do to stop it. The beast inside me was just too much to control.

  Chapter One

  Alice

  Jennica’s wails filled my ears, causing my skin to prickle with goosebumps as I tried to focus on what Eve was saying.

  “NO! NO! NO!” the ten-year-old howled. “I’M NOT GOING!”

  Eve seemed oblivious to the child’s sobs as she steadfastly explained her case. It boggled my mind that she could keep her face so impassive when the child was clearly devastated.

  It’s like she has absolutely no heart left, I mused with disappointment. I did not know why I was surprised by it. The foster parents grew less and less passionate every time I saw them.

  “I’m sorry, Alice, but I just can’t deal with her and her siblings,” Eve said matter-of-factly. “With Jennica here, the others are twice as bad. There’s only one solution and you know it.”

  I pursed my lips together, knowing that the burn of tears was going to form behind my eyes if Jennica continued to cry. I needed to get a handle on this situation.

  “Eve,” I sighed, trying to keep the judgment from my voice. “They’re siblings. You know we don’t separate siblings if possible. You have the room and—”

  “Fine!” Eve barked, cutting me off. “Then take all of three of them with you! I’m sick of dealing with that one’s antics!”

  She turned and scowled deeply at Jennica, who clamped her mouth closed as she looked toward me, pretending that it was Eve who was being unreasonable. Tears continued to stream down her face. Jennica very well might have been right—Eve Masters was not known for her resounding patience with the foster kids. It was not the first time I had been sent out to the house to deal with the woman since starting with the Oregon Department of Human and Child Services and it probably would not be the last. It would have been so much simpler if I could snatch up all the kids along with Eve’s foster mother status, if only to spare the children the emotional turmoil of dealing with her moods.

  I looked toward Jennica, sensing that I might get further with the child than with Eve.

  She looks like she has more sense.

  “Can you come and talk with me for a few minutes, Jenn?” I asked, giving her indignant face a wan smile. She did not return my expression but I did not expect much. “Please?”

  There was no answer but I guided the girl from the kitchen into the living room with little resistance even if she refused to sit down when I did. I decided not to push the issue. In situations like that, one needed to pick their battles.

  “I’m not leaving Maisie and Ben here,” Jennica blurted out before I could speak. “I don’t care what that wretched bitch says.”

  “Jennica,” I said warningly. “Please watch your mouth.”

  The girl scoffed openly, folding her arms over her chest to glare at me defiantly with blazing blue eyes. But for all her anger, I saw the pain in her irises, the street wisdom of a child
who should not have had to experience so much before hitting puberty. It just added another crack to my already shattered heart.

  Like so many of the families that came before me, Jennica was a product of her upbringing—or lack thereof. She and her two younger siblings had been neglected by their alcoholic mother, left to fend for themselves. For years, they depended only on each other. Jennica’s sour attitude was nothing more than a defense mechanism she had learned while scouring the streets for food or whatever money she could panhandle on nights when Melanie took off and left the children with nothing. By the time she was nine, she had seen her third arrest for shop lifting and Child Services finally intervened. Jennica had grown up too fast but she was still a child.

  Unfortunately, it was a story I knew all too well.

  “Eve is a bitch,” Jennica insisted, raising her voice for her foster mother’s benefit. I hoped Eve was not in earshot. I could only put out one fire at a time. I checked my own exasperation and stared at the little girl impassively.

  “What happened that makes you think so?” I asked evenly. Arguing with her was not going to achieve anything. The best thing I could do for the child was make her feel heard.

  Jennica snorted again and began to pace in front of me, darting her eyes away from me.

  “She has all these rules!” Jennica grumbled. “Stupid bedtimes and dinnertime and stuff.”

  I again smothered a sigh.

  I wish that were my biggest problem, I thought wryly.

  “Why do you think she has these rules, Jen?” I questioned gently.